The mind is an extremely powerful tool that controls everything we do. Every thought and and every action is processed by our brain and this is what makes things happen. When we have such an influential part of our body that controls us, it can affect other parts of ourselves and our identity, which is why it’s important to understand the way we think and what we want to have happen in our lives. Sometimes our mind can be so powerful that it works against us, such as making us question ourselves, or think badly about who we are.
As one of an estimated eight billion human beings on this planet, each of us is completely different, as we all come from different cultures, backgrounds and walks of life. It’s important for us to remember and appreciate that we are all unique, because trying to mimic someone else, means we are just living in the shadows of another person, who is not the person who we actually are. We all have our own identities and sometimes common themes bring people together, like those of us who share the same interest in bug chasing and/or gift giving.
It’s really important to remember that we are at different stages in our lives; we might be older or younger than others, we might come from a particular country, have varying cultural believes that might impact the way we think or we might let society dictate how we should live our lives. These are only some of the considerations when it comes to how we are all different people, which means there is nobody else in the world like you, and this makes you a special individual. Sometimes we forget that what makes us different can make us special, because it can be easy for us to take this for granted when it comes to who we are and how we feel about ourselves.
What we also need to consider is how we react when we hear the thoughts or views of others. Many people can be extremely vocal about their thoughts and beliefs and will happily share them with you or even try to control you based on the way they think, where they believe their way is the only way and everybody else is wrong, which is definitely not the case. This is why it’s so important for us to take a moment to stop before we react, because our impulses can sometimes take over and our reactions might not be the best to deal with the situation, which brings us back to the core subject about our minds and the way we think about things.
As bug chasers, we are often the subject of harsh comments by critics, coming from people who don’t understand us and don’t want to make an effort to understand us, because it’s easier to judge others and make statements based on personal thoughts, which we might innocently do this ourselves sometimes. As human beings, this is a characteristic that can make or break people, because sometimes harmful comments can hurt and cause so much pain, they have flow on effects, which can at times be detrimental to ourselves or others.
Being judged harshly can be soul destroying and it can affect your self-esteem and make you question your identity. If you have thoughts about bug chasing or feel connected to HIV, this can form part of your being, because it’s a part of you, so you need to accept this, which isn’t always easy and is why bringing your thoughts into alignment with other aspects of yourself is really important. If you let others tell you what they think, this could be damaging to your mind, so you need to be really careful who you reveal your bug chasing identity to.
If you were to walk out on the street and ask one hundred people who know what bug chasing is what they think of bug chasers, almost every person asked would most likely have a strong view and it probably wouldn’t be favourable. Some might even use words that are extremely harsh to reinforce what they think about bug chasing or question why someone would even contemplate being a bug chaser. It’s highly unlikely you would find anyone who supports bug chasing, which is why the reactions from others can make our thought processes vulnerable and when you’re in this situation, you need to have a tough shell to protect yourself.
To create a barrier that’s difficult to penetrate can cause other issues, which includes shutting yourself off or feeling isolated from the rest of the world, which can cause even more problems. This is why finding the right balance between protecting yourself and exploring your emotions is a priority and it’s something only you can do, as you know yourself better than anyone else does. You can seek the professional assistance of others, such as a counsellor or psychologist and they could prove to be helpful, but even though their personal opinions and lack of understanding on the subject should not affect the quality of the therapy session, it could be difficult for a professional to explore your feelings with you or you might feel uncomfortable opening up to them about what’s going on due to the fear of being judged.
So you’re probably wondering where this leaves you. It doesn’t leave you alone, because there are other people connected to bug chasing all around the world, it’s just a matter of finding a like-minded community, where you can interact with others by asking questions from those who are happy to share their knowledge or experiences with you. A community such as the forums here at Curious Chaser can be a great starting point, with community members who are happy to answer questions and genuinely try to help from the perspective of someone who has a similar thinking to yourself and who understands what you might be going through based on personal experience.
There is a still a significant amount of stigma involved when it comes to HIV in general, as some people still view it as a death sentence and believe a diagnosis will turn a persons world upside down, which is no longer the case based on medical advancements. When stigma is involved with HIV and bug chasing, this can create shame and lower our self-esteem, so we really need to know that bug chasing does exist and has existed for more than 20 years, with solid evidence of bug chasing dating back to 1997. Most people who contract HIV are not bug chasers, but there are most certainly some HIV-positive people who contracted HIV deliberately and are now part of the HIV community.
Stigma can create feelings of shame, which can lead to mental health conditions, as people who are constantly made to feel bad about who they are can have a serious effect on the mind of those who let what other people say affect them. It can be really easy to let other people influence you, because we often appreciate what others have to say, but when the tone or meaning of these comments or discussions are flipped, they can be harmful to our mind and souls and we need to take action to flush anything damaging from our minds, otherwise our entire body can suffer from the consequences of letting these thoughts linger for too long.
As our brain is an extremely powerful tool that controls our body, so it’s imperative for us to understand how it works and ensure our brain works with us and not against us. Understanding the way you think and how you process your thoughts will help you feel better about yourself, which means you can think clearly and redirect any negativity or damaging comments from others in society. It also means that you can reflect anything critical said about you so you don’t absorb that energy into your body, which it can be harder to process.
Here are a few things that might help you process any harmful comments or thoughts and help you feel better about yourself. It’s really important to cleanse the mind of anything that makes you feel bad, otherwise your self-esteem will be affected and your energy will be depleted unnecessarily, which can lead to other health issues.
- Work on understanding who you are and be proud of yourself for being the person you are meant to be.
- Know that you are not alone in this world, other bug chasers exist, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
- Don’t let something horrible someone says affect you for too long, because this can affect your mental health.
- Process any negative comments or thoughts calmly and efficiently to achieve a better and less stressful outcome.
- Talk to others who are like-minded and understand some of the issues you are going through together.
Featured Photo: Mitchell Hollander on Unsplash.
Article ID: CC053
Version Control: 1.0 – November 20, 2022: Original article published.
A topic of endless debate and conversation and can all be overwhelming for a individual who is on the path of chasing.
For me personally so many of the situations you mention are similar to what I’m experiencing and probably will experience.
I’m definitely the individual who one would describe as “walled off and the barrier protection is all I need type” however it is on sites like this and the community of people who understand that make a difference.
Thank you for the dedication and support.
I think the feelings of shame and loneliness can be a big part of being a bug chaser based on the way society views us. If people were more accepting or understanding about bug chasing, I think we wouldn’t feel as judged or alone. This is why creating a barrier is important, as long as we are mindful that we don’t shut ourselves off completely from the rest of the world or allow our emotions to become affected by it. That’s why I want this website to be a place where we can still feel safe as we share what we feel comfortable sharing, but still keep the level of protection up enough so we don’t become vulnerable. Having this community reminds us that we aren’t alone and there are people here who want to help others through listening and sharing thoughts and experiences, so I appreciate you being here and for sharing what you have, because others will resonate with what you have said, including myself.
Well said, Jason. We are out there, and one of the most remarkable things about chasing HIV is that I’ve seen a lot of straight people, men and women, who are looking to get infected as well. Which leads me to believe that it’s not *just* a gay thing and bug chasing thoughts and impulses can affect all types of persons.
The other thing is that the thoughts and impulses to be infected with HIV, for me, anyway, wax and wane; sometimes it’s all I can think about, and other times, it’s in the back of my mind and I might go days or even a week without really thinking about it. And, for me, I think this is related to my giving up PrEP and allowing conversion to happen, in it’s own time.
There was a great sense of relief giving up daily PrEP and even on days when I step back and wonder *why* I’m a bugchaser, I still have no intention of going back on PrEP. As users of this site know, I’ve taken steps to get infected with HIV but I’m also a realist and know it might take some time; but crossing that line in my head has definitely put the thoughts in the proper context for me.
I’m just so glad Curious Chaser exists so we brothers in POZ can share our thoughts and innermost desires without judgement or stigma! Thanks Jason 🙂
#negforpoz #HIV #convert #chaser
Thank you Van and that’s an interesting point about bug chasers having different sexual orientations and genders. It does seem to be primarily men and in particular gay men who are chasers, but there are also straight men and women as well, so I’m glad you mentioned this. This does make you appreciate that when you feel connected to the virus, it doesn’t matter whether you are gay or straight, male or female. I tend to focus on gay men a lot when I write articles here, which could be due to the fact that I am a gay man and do this by default, but we should remember that anyone could be a bug chaser, it’s just not a gay thing as you have mentioned.
I can relate to bug chasing impulses waxing and waning for me too. At the beginning, I didn’t feel the strong pull to become infected as much, but over time, I feel better about bug chasing and more aligned with it, which makes these thoughts more intense and something I think about a lot more (constantly sometimes), so the connection is real, to the point that you will know you’re a bug chaser, because you can feel it inside you and constant thoughts enter your mind.
Thank you also for sharing more about your journey here, it’s really helpful for others to know that it’s possible to take the next step, which can be the hardest part and also a step not everyone is able to take. I also appreciate your kind words about Curious Chaser and thank you for being here and being an important part of our community. The more of us who share our thoughts and experiences will make this resource more useful for everyone.
It i so important to know that other bug chasers exist. We are not alone and what we are doing is okay.
I agree with you Scott, it’s really important for us to understand that we are not alone and that there are others just like us all around the world, so we should never feel like we are alone. We are individuals who make up a community, so even though we might feel isolated at times, we must never forget there are others who can also relate to bug chasing.
I really think there’s a lot more chasers out there than admit to being one. You’ve done a great service, Jason, in giving us this site and the forums to talk about it and to realize that, for some of us, getting POZ is a beautiful and natural thing.
I think you’re right about this Van, because so many people are afraid to be open about being a bug chaser, because of what others might think. That’s why it’s great for us to have a place where we can be open about who we are, to help understand ourselves better and also to connect with others who share the same interest. It would be really interesting to know the number of people who are bug chasers, because this would help us know that we’re not alone and also appreciate that the community is bigger than we might imagine.
I can relate to this loneliness …
I use my porn consumtion to somehow faze it … even if has enhaced and continues to do so all of my perverted thought alongside the arousal it is to feel I could be HIV pox one day.