When it comes to bug chasing, those of us who are already on the path understand there can be a lot of emotion and conflict involved during the contemplation and decision making process. The constant thoughts about bug chasing seem to grow inside your mind and these thoughts can become so powerful, it can reach the point where bug chasing is all you can think about. You might also find that the intensity of bug chasing thoughts comes in waves, but these waves or pulses tend to become stronger over time, making the thoughts more intense and constant.
There are so many elements and layers involved with bug chasing that add to the complexity of it. There’s the consideration process, which might just start out with you being curious about why you are thinking this way. Then there’s wondering about whether you want to actively chase and if you decide you would like to pursue bug chasing for real, you have to consider even more issues, such as who you want to get infected by and whether you want to become a gift giver after you have been successful with your chase.
When you think more deeply about bug chasing, you might come to the conclusion there are several bug chasing statuses along the pathway, and we’re not just talking about HIV status. We’re talking about the first stage in the bug chasing process, which is being a curious chaser. This is the stage where bug chasing thoughts enter your mind, where you can either push them aside completely, try putting them on hold or you could start taking them more seriously.
After you have fully explored your bug chasing thoughts, which is not always easy and can sometimes take a significant amount of time, you might have reached the point where you have made a decision you’re comfortable with. This decision could be that you want to become an active chaser or you might not want to chase the bug at all. This could mean you become an inactive bug chaser, where you still have an interest in bug chasing, but it’s just fantasy based and not something you want to do physically.
If you have chosen to become an active bug chaser, you have to think about a few more things, such as whether you are ready to begin your chase and if you are, you need to stop taking preventative medication, such as PrEP (if you’re taking it) and find someone who is able to and willing to infect you with the virus. Once you have reached this stage, the excitement is most likely building inside your mind, as you figure out who you are going to get to fulfil your dreams, so you can reach your ultimate goal.
I am no expert when it comes to bug chasing or gift giving, but I’m learning a lot from those who are. The connection between fantasy and reality can be made through an association between online and offline activity. Those who see bug chasing as a fantasy only, will likely watch bug chasing, gift giving or poz friendly porn and interact with other guys online, including through role playing scenarios. Those who see bug chasing as a reality, will often participate in a combination of online activity, but will eventually take things offline to experience bug chasing on a physical level.
People should not be ashamed for taking either approach, as bug chasing is not for everyone. It’s perfectly fine for someone to think more deeply about bug chasing and decide that actively chasing is not for them after considering the pros and cons. We have to remember that we all need to live our own lives, so we shouldn’t let others influence our decisions. It’s perfectly fine to consider what others have to say, as this can be a healthy part of the decision making process, but don’t ever feel pressured into making a decision you’re not comfortable making yourself, as you are the one who will be responsible for that lifelong decision.
Bug chasing as a fantasy can be a great way to experience something private, which could be your secret. There are many different things we can be turned on by, so being turned on by bug chasing from a fantasy perspective is completely acceptable when you look at other sexual fetishes. When you explore sexual fetishes, there’s quite a lot of them, so jacking off to bug chasing porn or talking to others about bug chasing fits into this criteria and can be an outlet that helps you experience your fantasies.
If you want to have a more real-life bug chasing experience without putting yourself out there, roleplaying can be an excellent way to achieve this. The only problem with roleplaying, is you shouldn’t give someone else false hope that you are going to actually meet up or hook up with them if you have no intention of doing so. I have seen social media posts and spoken with guys who have thought they were going to be meeting up with someone they met online and when it came right down to the actual moment they were supposed to meet offline, they realised nothing was going to eventuate and someone had wasted their time.
The problem where fantasy and reality can clash is when one participant may be roleplaying to fulfil a fantasy, while the other person is on a different wavelength and may genuinely think a hookup is going to happen. When it comes to having an online persona, it can sometimes take away your ability to think about the offline consequences, which is why it’s important to ensure you don’t give anyone false hope about meeting offline if it’s never going to happen. It’s important to be upfront and honest so everyone can distinguish whether an interaction is fantasy or reality, so your fantasy isn’t at someone else’s expense.
If you have decided to experience bug chasing for real, then you’ll need to take what may have been a strong online presence offline, that way you can start experiencing bug chasing on a physical level. Taking bug chasing offline and starting your journey is a big step, but you might still need to maintain an online presence to find other guys who are able to help you experience bug chasing by offering you the gift. Sometimes you might just want to experiment physically as part of the exploration process as well to help you make a final decision.
Featured Photo: Yukimi Yokoyama from Pixabay.
Article ID: CC016
Version Control: 1.0 – October 29, 2021: Original article published.
I totally agree, have been chasing the fantasy end of it long enough, trying hard to increase my presence so that eventually it will become a reality. I think it marks an important stage of where I am at with my sexuality,
Like most here the thought of taking a poz load started as fantasy but the longer I thought about it and talked with others about it the fantasy began to change into a strong deisre to do it in reality. The thought of offering my body to someone who wants to share his poz seed with me is very strong. And while it has been difficult I am still looking. I am an older man late 60’s who has been married to a woman for over 40years but we have not had sex for over 5 years. I guess the thought of someone wanting my body and sharing his gift to bring me into the brotherhood is what I am looking for. When infected I will gladly share with others who are on the journey
Thank you for sharing more about how bug chasing started as a fantasy for you, but it’s becoming more of a reality as a result of the desire becoming stronger within you. I have been contemplating this myself for a while now, and these thoughts have never gone away, so it sounds like this is something similar you are experiencing also. Your body must be craving an intimate connection with someone if you haven’t had sex for the past five years and a sexual connection on this level is going to be a very intense and rewarding experience for you. It’s also great to hear about wanting to help others once you can, who are also on this journey striving for a positive change. I wish you the very best with everything Robert and I hope you enjoy your chase.
With me it started as just wondering why some people do it on purpose. The more I learned from other guys the more I desired it and the more
It started to become connected to my personal journey as a gay kinky piggy man on not just a physical level but a very spiritual level also. And I have doubted myself and sometimes still do but I can’t lie to myself about the deep desires I feel. I’ve spent years contemplating all possible scenarios and consequences with this decision. And the more time goes on the more sure I want it. So I figure why not go for it.
Conversion fucking is so hot! Who doesn’t fantasize about it?
I was just thinking about butchering at first but now I have been obsessed with the idea of getting my negative hole infected by a high virial poz top and become pozzed.
Same here. I’m turned on by the thought that horny poz guys want to breed me deliberately.
Agree that raw porn is a strong driver of HIV desires. In my case, the excitement is almost overwhelming if the guys are fucking raw and have biohazard tatts or other indication of POZ status. The desire grows and gets stronger over time and like you, the POZ hunger is only temporarily sated by orgasm. Soon, it builds up again. Other fetishes and pervs seem to grow alongside this, making the dark side of me stronger as I grow older.
It was a multiple step for me. A fantasy at first. Took any and all cock without questions. When I THOUGHT I had the fuck flu, it became a reality though. Yes I was scared, yet more excited about it though. With my decision to chase, it was with the provision that I knew who gifted me. Plenty of time to be a dump after converting.
I have always been fascinated by the audacity of the porn actor Brad McGuire who somewhere in the mid-2000 jumped into bareback and still being negative whereas his boyfriend back then was HIV+ and undetectable in a time when such concept was still not part of our current vocabulary. Why did motivate Brian to do that jump knowing how criticized such choice would be and being aware of the risks we could face? Did he believe that if he happened to seroconvert one day he wouldn’t be worried because he could follow a treatment and be indectable like his boyfriend? I wonder…
I completely agree with you Eric!! I am just the same !!! And then there are the thoughts what to do once converted … and how perverted these thoughts can be … sometimes I scare myself !
I wouldn’t say it was a fantasy when I started. I always knew bare is better, but had to really wrestle with the risk a bit. But when I met people and found sites that help you understand that HIV is ok, and a good thing, you start to feel validated and accepted. It becomes kind of a living fantasy when you meet guys that have an HIV fetish.
Bugchasing has been a strong and consuming desire in my mind for the last couple of years, fed by watching a lot of porn, especially bareback and knowing that some of my favorite sex performers are HIV+ (undetectable), which furthered my arousal and my need to jerk off for hours while watching all this amount of porn with these amazing guys. The other thing that the thought of becoming HIV+ has caused in me (and in many other guys as well from what I have learnt) the expansion of my sexual perversion and fetiches. The adrenaline to watch porn and the danger of becoming HIV+ had led to me watch more perverted stuff and fetichize about it.
When does this all seem to calm down in me? After orgasm … as expected, But it all comes back to me after a while. For that reason, I still need to understand this connection to such intense and perverted appreciation for some sexual kinks and seeking them in pornography and what that says about me. At the same time, this process of understanding myself also add the desire to see myself as an HIV+ person … this whole dark side of me is both confusing and arousing, and I am trying to make sense out of it.